Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Friday, 28 March 2014

Barry Cryer - Twitter Titters with Colin Sell

Not long been back from a great evening out at The Castle theater in Wellingborough to see Barry Cryer who (amongst other things) is famous for writing for some of the greatest people of all time from the likes of Tommy Cooper to Morecambe and Wise and you don't get more famous than them!

I have to admit I've not really followed Mr Cryers radio career so I had no idea who Colin Sell is and to be honest when I sat down and took a look at the stage and saw a grand piano standing there, I was a little confused as to what was going on.  When a pianist came on stage (who I later learned was in fact Colin Sell) and started playing background music I was beginning to wonder what sort of show I had come to see as it was beginning to look like a piano recital and when Colin started singing, I really began to wonder what I had let myself in for...

To make my concerns even worse, when Barry Cryer came on to the stage he too started singing which really made me wonder what on earth was going on!

It wasn't long before the singing stopped and the show turned in to what I had hoped, lots of funny tales and jokes about people Barry Cryer had met (and sometimes written for) over his many years in show business.  There were lots of 'old' jokes that we'd all pretty much heard before, time and time again and it was these jokes and stories I had come to hear, as a lot of them are jokes we've all taken for granted and forget that someone wrote them in the first place, and in many cases it was Barry Cryer who was part of a team of people that wrote them.  :)

All the singing wasn't my cup of tea, but it was soon explained that Barry and Colin have been working together on the radio in this way for many, many years and a lot of the audience members were familiar with their work together and seemed to enjoy it.

All-in-all I have to say it was a very different and mostly enjoyable night out - the last of a dying breed you might say as modern comedians use observational comedy which when I was growing up was called Alternative Comedy but it's now so widespread that it's the norm so is just, well, comedy.

Although he's from the same era as Ken Dodd, he wasn't quite up to that standard for me, but it was still a good night out so I've given this show a well deserved 3 stars.




Sunday, 27 December 2009

If People Brought Cars Like Computers...

Call No. 1

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

Call No. 2

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little guage on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $$12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

Call No. 3

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your car sucks!"

HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't start!"

HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash anymore!"

Call No. 4

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"

Ask any support tech: they'll tell you these are not exaggerations!